Kids living in boat, Hoi An, Vietnam

ME on boat, Hoi An, Vietnam

My “boatmen”, Hoi An, Vietnam

Initially, there were 3 boat-ladies arguing to row the boat for me, because I was their first customer for the last 5 days!!! In the end, 2 of them agreed to row the both together, and split the money. The agreed price was S$3 per hour, but I gave them S$4 so that they could split the money easily. (btw, they only rowed 30 mins, but it’s okay. I had fun talking to them)

Dinner @ Nyugen’s shelter (one of the boat-ladies), Hoi An, Vietnam

She invited to dinner at her place. I was thinking whether she would be asking for more money (gotta be a bit more cynical and careful as I was traveling alone), or was she just genuinely hospitable.

Then, I was thinking “Why not? It’d be good to understand the living conditions of a local”.

When I saw her living conditions, I was a bit shock. If you realized, I used the word “shelter” instead of “house”. Yes, it’s a shelter made of the sheets of metal without doors, the furniture were old and broken, there was no proper mattress on their beds…

Her husband was jobless, she was the sole breadwinner in the family. Her 19-years old son couldn’t find a job, and her other children were too young to work. (7 years old, 5 years old.) She also had a new baby (8 mths old), but soon I realized that the baby had down-syndrome, as the baby’s facial feature was different & he was quite immobile (couldn’t crawl unlike the normal baby).

Suddenly, I felt a sense of sadness. If the family is already in poverty, how can they support a “down-syndrome” child? Wouldn't the child become an additional burden? Does she know that her child is abnormal? I didn’t dare to ask, as I thought that I would be insensitive to ask such sensitive question.

While she was cooking, I was playing with her children. Kids all over the world are the same, they can be amused so easily by playing simple games or taking photos of them and showing them using the screen on the digital camera.

At dinner, we had 2 dishes – vegetable soup & fried eggs. Surprisingly, it’s pretty delicious. In the midst of eating, I realized that the 5 year old boy was suddenly unhappy and his elder brother used chopstick to hit him. I asked Nyugen what was happening? She said that the younger boy wanted to eat more eggs, but the eggs were bought especially for me. I was so surprised, then I told her that let him (young boy) have the eggs, and I could do without it. But she pushed the dish of eggs closer near to me, and I didn’t take any egg after that.

I was wondering, if the kids seldom eat eggs, what about meat? It would be a luxury to eat meat!!! As I was eating with the family, I felt that I was part of them. For a moment, the future was so bleak. No Money, No Education, No job… it’s a vicious cycle. I always believe that if you work hard, you will have at least a decent life. But it is not the case here, future is uncertain and bleak. Helplessness is the word.

I bid farewell, and gave S$10 as a small token. She demanded for more, as expected, but I said no. Why? I didn’t want her to think that tourist should/could be exploited. Most of the time when I was traveling and met beggers, I would try to buy them food rather than to give away money. But why do I give money in the first place? Firstly, as a token for the nice dinner, and secondly, I knew that I would feel really bad if I don’t do anything. Thirdly, it is a privilege to be in a position that I can help others.

That evening was a depressing one. As I was walking alone in darkness beside the river, I put myself into their shoes, and couldn’t figure out a way to break out of the poverty trap.

Then, I realized that is the special thing about traveling, I could see it and experience it for myself. The intensity is stronger. That's why I love backpacking.